Week Three: Abundant Changes.

This week I made some major changes. I may not have handled them all the right way, but I believe they were decisions I needed to make. I went to work as usual on Monday and Tuesday, still not doing much at work. There are four of us interns in the press office with very little workload. I spent most of my time reading for class and catching up on intern logs. But with so little to report I felt as if my time in New York was slowly slipping by in front of my very eyes, and I could do nothing about it. I sat in the press office anxiously as a few floors below me I knew was buzzing activity of the daily news kind. I wanted so acutely to be located just 7 floors lower in the same building, helping to research stories and learn from those much more experienced then me. I had come to admire the people I worked with here on the PR side of the business. I knew they could and would teach me more in the days to come, but I felt unhappy. I felt wasteful and ungracious when it dawned on me. This was not the place for me. This was my one chance at a semester in New York City and I was so close yet so far from the position I wanted to hold. I made a rash decision. It is not one I regret, but one I desperately wish I had handled better.

I decided to attempt altering my internship in search of one that gave me the experience and workload I aspired to gain from my one shot in the bustling city of my dreams. I attempted to leave the CBS Press Office and take my fortune to a more news-based environment. First I sought to consult our intern coordinator to see if another position within CBS could be more fitting, so as not to burn any bridges and solidify something rather quickly. I realized however that the reality of such an ideal situation was beyond my reach. I may have to track other options. Rather than taking the proper channels of communication, I was thrust into an awkward pursuit when I tried to honestly yet reasonably discuss the situation with my boss. And, as tends to happen with those of us who write better than we speak, I was quickly misunderstood. The words meaning to leave my mouth in an “I’d really appreciate it if I could gain more experience in a news setting” fashion, were heard more as “I quit so I can pursue something I like better” manner. Unguarded and naïve, I left feeling as if my clouded judgment on the matter had made the situation worse. I felt guilty and entitled, unappreciative and vain. All emotions my usual self steers clear of. It made matters worse when I looked back on the whole ordeal, realizing I had taken a spot that someone else may have worked really hard to apply for. What made me think I could take advantage of such a situation or that I would even find another internship? Feeling guilty yet somehow free, I raced home and began working on other channels to secure an internship.

Meanwhile, my birthday came and went. It was my first birthday away from Texas. The first night was a traditional night on the town, but the night of my actual birthday was a brand new experience. I took on a freelance story in the heart of Harlem, at the Apollo Theater. It was a Muslim arts revival concert where the likes of Aasif Mandvi and Mos Def would be performing. I got to do a piece on it. It was one of the greatest birthday presents I could’ve asked for.